The Green Ribbon Project, Volume 8: Fatalistic Resolutions

I realized entering this year how tired I was. Beyond what I previously compared being exhausted to.

Tired of negativity in the world, news, in some of the people around me.

Tired of mannequin-like interactions, and people not having the openness to do their inner work.

Tired of people and institutions dumping destruction on the world, while not giving us space to breathe, or recover after each gut-punch.

Tired of people wanting to commiserate in their misery and not wanting to celebrate successes, however small.

Tired of old patterns I didn’t break because I felt guilty about letting them go, even if they were corrosive to my growth.

Really just so sick and tired of so many things that I felt were holding me back from being happy; which honestly outside of external factors, I was and am happy, in my own way.

I don’t think it was just the threat or occurrence of a COVID infection that had some of us feeling wiped out, or the stress of the holidays, family, career, whatever else it was. I think it was a collective global feeling of “what the fuck.”

While we are resetting and refreshing, it’s okay to acknowledge how tough the past few years have been, and the mental scars they have created or reopened. Tough is an understatement. Life is hard enough without the feeling of potential existential doom. I think that a lot of people didn’t realize what they were wrestling with until they had mandated time to think about it. The forced reality of stagnation made us look inward and face some ugly truths; but they don’t have to end ugly. There is gorgeousness in accepting things head on and staring into the eye of the beasts that hold us back.

What I have found is that if you keep yourself elevated in life, even if you slip, you won’t be destroyed. By elevated I am speaking of being emotionally, mentally, financially, and in accordance with your gifts and potential. Relationships especially.

Eb and flow in your rhythm; steady.

Make your pain and strife into art and assistance, in service of others.

With all of the mistakes that we made, such as our unhealthy coping strategies, in the past year or more from this raging pandemic and global catastrophe; this is the time to break them. Re-engage with yourself and the things you love. Ask what brings your heart joy, and what you bring to the world in service to others. A very wise friend once said to me, “You get what you get in life based on the things you say yes and no to.” We can remember damage, but only remember. Not relive, except for perhaps in reflection.

I think it’s a perfect time to evaluate those decisions, your affiliations, and influence.