The Green Ribbon Project, Volume 5: Goddess

"Ding ding, ring ring, ding ding, ring ring." I let out a groan as my alarm goes off on my cell phone. I press snooze, reluctantly covering my head with the fuzzy blanket crumpled around my body. As I lay there waiting for my fifteen minutes of snooze time to conclude, I run positive words and affirmations through my foggy morning brain, hazily daydreaming of my coffee waiting in the kitchen. It may sound strange, but this small routine is how I get my Mental Health in check for each day. I spent too many mornings having arguments with myself before I began this positive mental routine. I would instead think destructive things and then think of a positive rebuttal. I would think things like, "I'm ugly," and respond "No. You are beautiful." "I'm fat," and my brain says in my soothing motherly voice, "Your curves are those of a Goddess." "I hate myself," and in my motherly tone, I speak aloud, "Yet so many love you." It took me a long while to understand that I didn't need to bring myself, to build myself up. There are multiple ways to bring out your best self. For me, a part of that building is to remind myself of a couple of inspirational quotes. The first is a powerful saying, "Your trauma does not define you." I can not recall where I heard it, but it stuck with me. The second is a direct quote from my favorite author, P.C. Cast. "Your Imperfection is part of your Power." That quote hit me so hard the first time I read it. I devoured those words and they filled my soul and satiated the undefined hunger I felt to fill my self worth. Things finally clicked that I did not need to be perfect to be worthy of my own love. Perfection is subjective, and frankly, it's quite boring. Society can take a toll on our perceptiveness for just about everything, including our image of self. There is no such thing as total perfection and there is no such thing as a fully healed self either. Mentality and self worth go hand and hand. Both things are incredibly important in finding balance and direction for one's mental health. While that may seem overwhelming, we must strive to achieve them daily, for a healthy relationship with self, and our mental health. Mental Health, especially when you suffer from a mental disorder, can be a difficult thing to be mindful of. It helps me to remember that, and to give myself that small routine each morning. My name is Katie. My mental hair is a constant work in progress. And that's okay.

Written by Katie Jo Zahm